Adjusting To Parenthood

The changes that take place when a couple has a child can be dramatic. Here are some tips on what to expect after the child is born:

  1. Parents will be exhausted from the new demands of the baby. They should try to get all the rest they can whenever possible. Allow neighbors, relatives, or friends to take the baby for short periods and allow you some "nap time".
  2. Parents' emotions can be unpredictable, both for mothers and fathers. Postpartum depression is not uncommon for the first year after the delivery.
  3. Parents will receive advice from just about everyone around them, strangers as well as family and friends. It is important to seek the facts and not listen uncritically to rumors or advice. Then, parents can make an informed decision.
  4. The instincts of motherhood or fatherhood may not be evident immediately after the birth and time should be given to get to understand your child and your own feelings about having a baby. Negative feelings about the new baby are common and are a normal reaction to abrupt changes in your life. Also, parents may not feel they are doing a good job at parenting. They should remember that it takes practice and time.
  5. A parent who stays home with the new baby may feel isolated from the world. Looking into groups or talking with family and friends may help alleviate these feelings.
  6. Couples need to be aware that there will be changes in the relationship, but that it is important to maintain a solid relationship in order to have a solid family. New mothers may feel that they are working harder than ever but not receiving any recognition. Also, fathers may feel that they are not receiving the attention they once did from their wives. Communication is very important, and time alone with your spouse is crucial for the maintenance of the relationship. Arrange for "dates" with your spouse. Leaving your newborn with a grandparent or friend may provide some special time for the child to be with someone special and allow you to nurture your relationship with your husband. You can even trade off with another couple to save on sitter costs.